The Full Truth
How to (and how not to) write the things you are currently ruining.
Not sure what to fix?
Drop it. I read, I judge, I hand it back fixed.How to Write a CV (and How Not To)
“Most CVs are two pages of someone describing a job they clearly hated.”
Read the Full TruthIn This Issue
38 teardownsHow to Write a Cover Letter (and How Not To)
"Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my interest" is where attention goes to die.
How to Write a LinkedIn Profile (and How Not To)
Most LinkedIn profiles are a hostage video where the hostage is a thesaurus.
How to Write a Job Posting (and How Not To)
Most job ads are a wishlist written by someone who has never done the job they are hiring for.
How to Write a Resignation Letter (and How Not To)
A resignation letter is the one document where saying less is the entire skill, and you still managed to write four paragraphs.
How to Write a LinkedIn Post (and How Not To)
Nobody cried in their car. They cried in their content calendar.
How to Write a Developer CV (and How Not To)
Your CV reads like a package.json: a long list of dependencies and not one thing you actually built.
How to Write a Nurse CV (and How Not To)
You can resuscitate a stranger in eight seconds but your CV has been flatlining for three pages.
How to Write a Dating Profile (and How Not To)
Most dating profiles are a hostage video where the hostage is also the kidnapper.
How to Write a Best Man's Speech (and How Not To)
Most best man speeches are a man reading his group chat aloud to people who weren't in it.
How to Write a Social Media Bio (and How Not To)
Most bios read like a horoscope wrote a resignation letter: vague, hopeful, and signifying nothing.
How to Write a Dating App Opening Message (and How Not To)
Most openers are a man reading a profile he never opened, talking to a person he hasn't noticed.
How to Write a Wedding Vow (and How Not To)
Most vows are a thesaurus apologizing for the fact that you didn't write anything down until the morning of.
How to Write a Property Listing (and How Not To)
"Cozy" means small. "Characterful" means broken. Everyone knows the code, including the buyer.
How to Build a Pitch Deck (and How Not To)
Most pitch decks are eleven slides of confidence and zero slides of evidence.
How to Write a Product Description (and How Not To)
Most product descriptions are a thesaurus having a panic attack while forgetting to mention what the thing actually does.
How to Write a Cold Outreach Email (and How Not To)
Most cold emails are a stranger asking for fifteen minutes of your life to hear about a problem you don't have.
How to Write a Business Proposal (and How Not To)
A proposal is not a price tag with feelings. Most read like a hostage note written by someone who wants the project less than you do.
How to Write a Grant Application (and How Not To)
Most grant applications read like a hostage note written by a committee that has never met the people it claims to serve.
How to Write a Paid Ad (and How Not To)
Most ads read like a product brief that escaped a meeting and wandered onto the internet.
How to Build a Crowdfunding Page (and How Not To)
Most crowdfunding pages are a love letter to the product, addressed to nobody who has to use it.
How to Write a Complaint Email (and How Not To)
Anger feels like leverage. To the person reading your email, it is just noise wearing a tie.
How to Design a Poster (and How Not To)
If I have to squint to find the date, your poster already failed its only job.
How to Write a Song Lyric (and How Not To)
Most lyrics are a diary entry that found out what 'rhymes with heart' before it found out what it wanted to say.
How to Argue an Essay (and How Not To)
An argument is not a topic with a thesaurus draped over it.
How to Build a Creative Portfolio (and How Not To)
A portfolio is not a museum of everything you've ever touched. It's an argument for hiring you, and most read like a plea.
How to Design a Tattoo Concept (and How Not To)
Most first tattoos are a Pinterest board having a panic attack on someone's forearm.
How to Write a Recipe (and How Not To)
Nobody scrolled past your grandmother's Tuscan villa to learn that pasta needs salt.
How to Write a Landing Page (and How Not To)
Your hero says 'Empowering synergistic solutions'. I still do not know what you sell.
How to Write a Restaurant Menu (and How Not To)
A menu is a sales document pretending to be a poem, and most read like a thesaurus had a panic attack.
How to Write an Email Newsletter (and How Not To)
Most newsletters are a founder talking to themselves in public and charging you the unsubscribe fee in guilt.
How to Write a Press Release (and How Not To)
Most press releases are a company shouting "we exist" into a void that already knew, and didn't care.
How to Write a Company About Page (and How Not To)
Most About pages are 400 words explaining that the company exists, which the reader had already assumed.
How to Write a Brand Tagline (and How Not To)
A tagline is a promise you make in seven words. Most brands write a sentence they're scared to be held to.
How to Write an Instagram Caption (and How Not To)
Most captions are a thesaurus, a sunset, and three hashtags pretending to be a personality.
How to Write an App Store Listing (and How Not To)
Your app does one useful thing, and your listing managed to hide it behind three paragraphs about your 'journey'.
How to Write a Podcast Show Description (and How Not To)
Most show descriptions read like a press release that nobody, including the host, will ever finish.
How to Write a YouTube Title and Description (and How Not To)
Your title promised a 10-minute fix and your video took 40, eight of which were you asking for the like.
How to Write a Coffee Shop Menu (and How Not To)
A menu is not a vibe board, it is a sales document that happens to be standing next to an espresso machine.
Send your draft. I will send it back improved, and slightly humiliated.
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