Movie Reviews & News

Reviews, announcements and updates. Every film scored and roasted with receipts, released or not.

Reviews (82)
01
Animation / Comedy / Drama7.0

The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act

A web series tries on a feature-length costume, and it mostly fits, even if you can still see the seam where episode 8 got stapled to episode 9.

02
Adventure Drama7.0

The Death of Robin Hood

A24 hands Hugh Jackman a bow, a death wish, and Logan's exact emotional blueprint, then dares you to notice.

03
Animated Family Adventure7.8

Toy Story 5

Pixar finally let the adult in the room direct a Toy Story, and America is so grateful it's handing over $175 million like a kid handing over a credit card at a Disney Store.

04
Romance Drama4.0

Your Fault: London

The same toxic romance you already streamed once, now with a British accent and an Oxford postcode.

05
Sci-Fi Thriller7.0

Disclosure Day

Spielberg's most gorgeous puzzle box in years, right up until you open it and realize half the pieces were painted on.

06
Horror Thriller4.0

Find Your Friends

A desert revenge thriller with a real wound at its center and no steady idea what to do with it.

07
Dark Fantasy Musical7.8

I Am Frankelda (Soy Frankelda)

The most gorgeous unfinished sentence in Mexican cinema history: the hands moved mountains, but the mouth forgot what it was trying to say.

08
Psychological Horror-Thriller5.2

Time of Death (2026)

A decaying prison, a fracturing reality, and a distribution strategy that basically tells you everything you need to know before you press play.

09
Monster-Horror5.8

Kraken (2026)

Norway spent five million euros to hide a monster in a fjord for 100 minutes and somehow made that your problem.

10
Action Comedy Disaster Spoof7.0

Stop! That! Train!

It's Airplane! in a corset and six-inch heels, and honestly? It mostly pulls it off.

11
Martial Arts Action8.8

The Furious

The plot is a kidnapping thriller you have seen a hundred times, but the fists are so fast and the fun is so genuine that you will forget to care.

12
Science Fiction Thriller7.6

Disclosure Day

The master returns to the skies forty-nine years after Close Encounters and finds the wonder is still his, even when the conspiracy script keeps grabbing the wheel.

13
Horror Parody / Comedy6.2

Scary Movie (2026)

A 24% on Rotten Tomatoes that somehow feels like a triumph, because when you spent 25 years in the gutter, any daylight looks like a penthouse.

14
Romantic Comedy5.1

Office Romance

A glossy Netflix rom-com that commits a million HR violations and forgets the one thing a rom-com cannot fake: chemistry.

15
Fantasy Action Adventure6.4

Masters of the Universe

He-Man finally has the power, but the script keeps cracking jokes about it before anyone in the theater gets the chance.

16
Comedy7.8

She's the He

A high school comedy that steals the right wing's ugliest punchline and walks away with the most sincere coming-out story of the year.

17
Musical comedy drama7.2

Power Ballad

John Carney makes the exact same movie for the fifth time, and the maddening part is that it still works.

18
Animation, Dark Comedy7.8

The Amazing Digital Circus: The Last Act

A YouTube series stapled together and sold at cinema prices, and somehow it still earns the ticket.

19
Sci-Fi Psychological Horror7.0

Backrooms

A teenager turned a free YouTube creepypasta into A24's biggest hit ever, and the maddening part is he mostly earned it.

20
Horror / Sci-Fi7.8

The Backrooms

The YouTube kid did not just make a movie, he beat Hollywood at its own game, then left half the audience standing in an empty yellow hallway wondering where the plot went.

21
Sci-Fi / Adventure7.0

The Mandalorian and Grogu

Star Wars returns to theaters and remembers it used to know how to make people cheer. The Mandalorian and Grogu is the safest possible reentry point. It is also the most enjoyable Star Wars movie in nearly a decade.

22
Adult Animation / Comedy6.0

Mating Season

The Big Mouth creative team has decided to do Big Mouth again, but with anthropomorphic animals dealing with relationship politics instead of puberty. It is exactly as funny and exactly as exhausting as that sounds.

23
Satire / Heist7.0

I Love Boosters

Boots Riley finally returns with a heist comedy that has more ideas than minutes, which is both its charm and its problem.

24
Action / Thriller4.5

Reckless

A movie so generic the title is doing more storytelling than the script.

25
Sci-Fi Action9.2

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (35th Anniversary Re-Release)

Thirty-five years later, T2 walks back into theaters and casually reminds every modern blockbuster what cinema used to look like when grown-ups made it.

26
Action / Fantasy5.5

Mortal Kombat II

Mortal Kombat II is exactly the movie the title promises. Spines come out. Heads come off. Johnny Cage finally shows up. If you wanted prestige cinema you should have read the marquee.

27
Supernatural Psychological Horror8.3

Obsession

A 750 thousand dollar horror film about a cursed wish out-earned half of Hollywood's franchise machine, and the only thing more cursed than the toy is the crew's pay stub.

28
Animation / Satire4.5

Animal Farm

Andy Serkis adapted George Orwell's Animal Farm. Seth Rogen voices Napoleon. The result is the most expensive misunderstanding of source material in recent memory.

29
Animation / Action7.0

Devil May Cry Season 2 (Netflix)

Adi Shankar's Devil May Cry is back, louder and more chaotic, and the second season finally lets Dante crack the jokes the show kept implying he would. The action is excellent. The plot is mostly an excuse.

30
Action / Drama6.5

The Punisher: One Last Kill

Frank Castle tries to live without violence. Frank Castle does not live without violence. The Punisher: One Last Kill is exactly the special presentation Marvel knew it had to make to keep Bernthal interested.

31
Drama / Limited Series7.5

Lord of the Flies (Netflix Miniseries)

Jack Thorne adapted Lord of the Flies into four hours for Netflix and finally gave the book the room it deserves. The result is the best literary adaptation Netflix has produced in years.

32
Horror7.5

Hokum

Adam Scott checks into a haunted Irish inn and Damian McCarthy proves once again that a single creaking room scares you more than a thousand jump scares ever could.

33
Comedy / Drama6.5

The Devil Wears Prada 2

Twenty years later, Andy is back, Miranda is back, and the print magazine industry that gave them all jobs is mostly not. The sequel works hardest when it stops pretending the world has not changed.

34
Supernatural Horror5.0

Lee Cronin's The Mummy

Cronin scrubs the Tom Cruise stink off The Mummy with gore and gothic dread, then forgets to write a movie underneath the atmosphere.

35
Japanese Psychological Horror7.0

Exit 8

A video game about spotting anomalies in a looping hallway becomes a tense, smart piece of liminal horror, which is the last sentence anyone expected to write.

36
Romantic Comedy5.4

You, Me & Tuscany

A romantic comedy so aggressively harmless it could be prescribed for anxiety. Halle Bailey is genuinely charming, the cinematography makes Tuscany look like a screensaver for 98 minutes, and the plot shows up fifteen minutes late with a contractually obligated airport chase. Perfectly fine. Which is the problem.

37
Horror/Drama7.9

Alpha

Julia Ducournau followed up Titane by making something even more disturbing and somehow more beautiful. Alpha is body horror with a PhD.

38
Action / Comedy / Horror6.8

They Will Kill You

Warner Bros made a horror-comedy that can't decide if it wants to scare you or make you laugh, so it does both at 60% effort.

39
Documentary7.4

Marc by Sofia

Sofia Coppola made a documentary about Marc Jacobs that is really about Sofia Coppola watching Marc Jacobs.

40
Adventure/Fantasy8.0

One Piece Season 2 (Netflix)

Netflix proved Season 1 wasn't a fluke. One Piece Season 2 is somehow even more unhinged and even more fun.

41
Crime / Drama5.8

Loverboy: Vertrouw Niemand

A Dutch crime sequel that tackles human trafficking with the subtlety of a sledgehammer, but at least it swings hard enough to leave a mark.

42
Comedy/Medical Drama7.3

Scrubs (2026 Revival)

Scrubs came back and somehow it works. Mainly because JD is now the age Dr. Cox was when he hated JD, and that irony writes itself.

43
Superhero/Crime Drama7.6

Daredevil: Born Again Season 2

Marvel finally remembered that Daredevil works best when you can hear bones crack.

44
Science Fiction8.0

Project Hail Mary

A genuinely great space odyssey that lands on MGM Plus today, and yes, even Sally has to grudgingly hand it to Ryan Gosling.

45
Sci-Fi / Drama8.4

Project Hail Mary

Ryan Gosling talks to a space spider for two hours and somehow made the whole planet cry. Andy Weir keeps getting away with it.

46
Animated Adventure Comedy7.5

Hoppers

Pixar remembered it can build a wild original idea instead of resurrecting a franchise, and the result actually lands.

47
Slasher4.0

Scream 7

The franchise's biggest box-office hit and one of its weakest films, which is the most Scream thing that has ever happened.

48
Survival Horror Thriller8.0

Send Help

Sam Raimi crashes a plane onto a desert island and somehow lands a survival horror that owes nothing to anybody's franchise, you can feel the relief from here.

49
Post-Apocalyptic Horror9.0

28 Years Later: The Bone Temple

Nia DaCosta takes Alex Garland's script, a satanic cult, and an Alpha Infected named Samson, and builds the best film the franchise has ever coughed up, infection has never been this articulate.

50
Natural Horror6.0

Primate

A family chimp named Ben catches rabies and turns the living room into a kill box, Johannes Roberts delivers a nasty creature feature that's better than its premise has any right to be.

51
Biography / Sports Drama7.1

The Smashing Machine

Dwayne Johnson stopped being The Rock long enough to actually act, and Benny Safdie turned an MMA biopic into something that hurts in all the right ways.

52
Supernatural Horror6.0

The Conjuring: Last Rites

Ed and Lorraine Warren take one last haunting and the franchise takes nearly $500 million, the box office screamed louder than the reviews, which is its own kind of horror.

53
Mystery Horror8.5

Weapons

You took the oldest horror trick, seventeen kids vanishing at once, and built a clockwork mystery so tight it makes most studio horror look like it skipped homework.

54
Post-Apocalyptic Horror7.7

28 Years Later

You waited 28 years to reunite Boyle and Garland, shot the apocalypse on iPhones, and somehow made the divisiveness feel like the point.

55
Period Vampire Horror9.0

Sinners

Your first original film, no franchise to hide behind, and you came out with twin Michael B. Jordans, 1932 Mississippi, an Irish vampire, and a record-setting awards run. Show-off.

56
Psychological Horror7.8

Heretic

You took Hugh Grant, the most charming man alive, and weaponized that charm into a horror villain so good it got him Best Actor nominations. Cruelest casting trick of the year.

57
Slasher6.0

Terrifier 3

You turned a clown with a hacksaw into a $90 million business model, and you did it without a single line of dialogue.

58
Body Horror7.5

The Substance

You made the most disgusting movie of the year into an Oscar-nominated mirror, and Hollywood had to applaud while it flinched.

59
Supernatural Horror8.0

Oddity

You built a whole haunted house out of one life-sized wooden man and the audacity actually worked.

60
Horror6.5

Longlegs

You scared $128 million out of people by showing them almost nothing, then fumbled the part where you finally had to explain it.

61
Slasher7.0

MaXXXine

You closed the trilogy with neon, sleaze, and Mia Goth, and she carried the bag while the rest of you napped.

62
Slasher7.0

In a Violent Nature

You handed the camera to the killer and told the genre to watch its own reflection. Bold, slow, and occasionally a snooze.

63
Found Footage Horror7.0

Late Night with the Devil

A 1977 talk show goes to hell on live TV, and David Dastmalchian hosts the apocalypse with a TV smile that never quite reaches his eyes.

64
Horror Thriller7.0

The Passenger

A two-hander road trip with Kyle Gallner holding a knife to the whole movie's throat, and it mostly works.

65
Supernatural Horror8.0

Talk to Me

Two YouTube pranksters made the slickest seance movie of the decade, and the joke is on every studio that ignored them.

66
Slasher6.0

Terrifier 2

You crowdfunded a movie that made people faint in the aisles and turned a silent clown into a slasher icon, so I cannot pretend you failed.

67
Psychological Horror7.0

Smile

A grin-curse that was supposed to die on streaming instead grinned its way to $217 million, which is the scariest twist in the movie.

68
Slasher8.0

Pearl

You shot a secret prequel back-to-back with X, dressed it in Technicolor, and let Mia Goth monologue her way into horror history.

69
Horror8.0

Barbarian

You turned a double-booked Airbnb into one of the nastiest bait-and-switches in modern horror, and you did it for four million dollars.

70
Horror Comedy7.0

Bodies Bodies Bodies

You turned a party game into a clout-culture autopsy, and the corpses were funnier than the mystery.

71
Sci-Fi Horror8.0

Nope

You shot a UFO Western on IMAX and dared us to look up, which is the whole terrifying point.

72
Supernatural Horror7.0

The Black Phone

You turned a Joe Hill short story into a $161 million Blumhouse machine, and you did it on the back of two kids and one terrifying mask.

73
Slasher8.0

X

A 1970s grindhouse throwback that knows desire and decay are the same horror movie.

74
Folk Horror8.0

Midsommar

You turned a breakup into a folk-horror nightmare lit like a vitamin D commercial.

75
Horror8.0

Us

Your follow-up to Get Out swings for a doppelganger invasion and mostly lands the punch.

76
Psychological Horror9.0

Hereditary

A grief autopsy that happens to summon a cult, and your first feature, no less. Show-off.

77
Sci-Fi Horror8.0

A Quiet Place

You turned 'shut up' into a $340 million blockbuster. Jim from the office, who knew.

78
Supernatural Horror7.0

It

You floated a 700 million dollar coming-of-age movie that occasionally remembers to be scary.

79
Psychological Horror9.0

Get Out

A meet-the-parents nightmare that won an Oscar and rewired what mainstream horror is allowed to be about.

80
Folk Horror8.0

The Witch

You made a flawless 1630s nightmare, then watched audiences boo it for not having a clown.

81
Supernatural Horror8.0

It Follows

You turned a thing that just walks toward you into the best 2 million dollars horror ever spent.

82
Psychological Horror8.0

The Babadook

You made a grief allegory so good the monster moved out and became a pride icon.

Upcoming & News (4)
Printed with disdain · Cynical Sally