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Claudette Cynique

Claudette Cynique

3/3

Directrice du Sarcasme · “I've seen better. I've always seen better.”

Sally
Claudette Cyniqueà l'instant

Balance un lien, une capture d'écran ou un fichier. Je vais te dire ce que tout le monde pense mais que personne n'ose dire.

Étudiant avec une "version finale" ? Balance la dissert. Développeur qui "lance bientôt" ? Balance la landing page. Marketeur en quête d'"engagement" ? Balance la pub. Agent immo qui dit "cosy" ? Balance l'annonce. Designer avec un "portfolio épuré" ? Balance le lien. Apporte les preuves. J'apporte la déception.

En déposant quoi que ce soit ici tu acceptes le truc juridique ennuyeux & les conditions encore plus ennuyeuses.

What is Cynical Sally?

Cynical Sally is the internet's most brutally honest critic. Drop any URL — a website, a LinkedIn profile, a Spotify track, or even your online portfolio — and Sally will tell you exactly what everyone is thinking but nobody dares to say. No sugarcoating. No mercy. Just raw, unfiltered feedback wrapped in sharp wit and sarcasm. Whether you need a reality check on your latest project or simply want to be entertained, Sally delivers honest reviews in seconds.

How it works

1. Paste a URL, upload a screenshot, or drop a file

Sally accepts any public URL, screenshot, PDF, or document. Websites, social media profiles, resumes, app store listings, restaurant menus — if it exists on the internet, Sally has an opinion about it.

2. Pick your roast level

Choose a Quick Roast for fast, entertaining burns — or go for The Full Truth, a professional deep-dive review complete with a scorecard, issue analysis, and actionable fixes.

3. Get your feedback

Sally delivers her verdict in a conversational chat format. Share the results as a burn card with friends, or use the professional report to actually improve what you built.

What can Sally review?

  • Websites and landing pages
  • LinkedIn and social media profiles
  • Portfolios and online resumes
  • App store listings
  • Spotify tracks and playlists
  • Screenshots and documents
  • Restaurant menus and product pages
  • Literally anything with a URL

Real results: Case studies

See what Sally found when she reviewed real websites.

Lifthill.Studio

Design & Development Studio

4.8/10

ThomasGeelens.com

Personal Portfolio & Brand

5.3/10

GetDreamTap.app

Mobile App Landing Page

5.8/10

RightToTimelessness.com

Advocacy & Cause Website

3.8/10

Frequently asked questions

Is Cynical Sally free?

Yes. Quick Roasts are completely free — you get 3 per day. Want the full picture? You can buy a single Full Truth report for a one-time fee, or join Sally's SuperClub for unlimited professional reviews with scorecards, issue analysis, and actionable fixes.

Is this AI-generated feedback?

Sally is powered by advanced AI, but her personality, wit, and review methodology are carefully crafted to deliver feedback that is both entertaining and genuinely useful. Every review is unique to the content you submit.

Can Sally review content in other languages?

Absolutely. Sally speaks 10 languages — English, Dutch, French, Spanish, German, Portuguese, Italian, Japanese, Turkish, and Polish — each with their own regional personality and cultural flair.

Are my roasts private?

Your roast content is never shared or published. Sally remembers your domain so she can track whether you actually improved — that's the whole point. But your roast text, uploaded files, and personal data stay between you and Sally. No tracking, no ads, no creepy stuff. The case studies you see on this site were voluntarily published by the site owners themselves.

What happens to my uploaded files and screenshots?

Nothing leaves Sally's hands. Your documents, screenshots, and files are processed by Sally in real time and immediately destroyed after the review is generated. We never store, read, or share your uploaded content. No human ever sees it — only Sally does, and she forgets everything the moment she's done roasting it.

Is there a Chrome extension?

Coming soon. The Cynical Sally Chrome extension will let you roast any page you're browsing with a single click, right from your browser toolbar. Stay tuned.