Les Burns Musicaux de Claudette

“Your chorus reads like a TSA pat-down set to a beat.”

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“You used the word 'sometimes' so many times it filed for workers' compensation.”

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“Your song has the emotional depth of a L'Oréal commercial with a minor key.”

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“You wrote a road movie where the car never arrives anywhere.”

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“Your outro sounds like a life coach who charges by the affirmation.”

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“Your song sounds like a Couples Retreat brochure gained sentience.”

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“You wrote a love letter so generic it could be a Google Translate test sentence.”

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“You opened a tribute song with a disclaimer about how hard it was to write. The person you lost would've told you to just get on with it.”

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“You wrote the bravest lyrics of your career and then used a word that doesn't exist.”

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“You wrote a motivational poster and charged streaming royalties for it.”

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“You asked "do I dare" so many times the word lost all meaning, which is technically a metaphor for your thirties.”

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“You wrote a blessing with a backup plan. That's not hope; that's an insurance policy.”

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“You wrote seventeen "someone you knew"s and one actual verse. The ratio is concerning.”

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“You spent four minutes building a legal case for heartbreak and then pardoned the defendant in the outro.”

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“You spent three choruses saying you won't wait and then immediately started waiting.”

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