Event Roasts
When corporations mess up, Sally keeps score. The biggest tech and gaming industry disasters, roasted with zero mercy.
All Events (13)
OpenAI, Anthropic, and Google Form Joint Anti-Distillation Defense
6.4“The three companies that would normally pay lawyers to sue each other by default just held a joint press conference about protecting their training data. If you ever wondered what it would take to make frontier AI labs hold hands in public, the answer is: Chinese distillation scripts.”
Anthropic's Internal Model Finds Bugs Hidden Since 1998
8.8“Anthropic's internal code analysis model surfaced critical vulnerabilities in codebases that have been running in production since 1998. One of them was in a library used by every bank in Europe. Sleep well.”
Google Releases Gemma 4 with Native Vision and 256K Context
8.3“Google quietly dropped the first open model family that doesn't feel like a consolation prize. Four sizes, native multimodal, 256K context, 140 languages. Meta is watching this through the bars of the cage they built themselves.”
Microsoft Commits $10 Billion to Japan AI Infrastructure
7.6“Microsoft is spending $10 billion on Japanese data centers, which is either a historic investment in APAC AI or a very expensive way to avoid being caught in the middle of the next US-China semiconductor fight. Probably both. Satya does not do things for one reason.”
Warhorse Studios Fires Translation Team, Replaces With AI
2.1“Kingdom Come Deliverance is a game about medieval peasants getting treated like garbage by the people in charge. Warhorse just re-enacted the plot with their own staff. You cannot make this up. The irony wrote itself and then got fired.”
OpenAI Closes Record $122 Billion Funding Round
7“Historic money raise. The math is giving hallucination.”
12 Tons of KitKat Stolen in Europe's Sweetest Heist
8.5“Somebody stole 413,793 KitKat bars off a truck in Italy and KitKat turned their own robbery into the best marketing campaign of 2026.”
PlayStation Shuts Down Bluepoint Games + Dark Outlaw Games
2.5“Sony bought Bluepoint, gave them a live-service God of War nobody wanted, cancelled it, then closed the studio. Masterclass in mismanagement.”
Epic Games Fires 1,000 Employees
3“Epic spent more than Fortnite earned, panicked, and handed 1,000 people a cardboard box. Again.”
Disney Cancels OpenAI/Sora Partnership
4“Disney planned a billion-dollar AI bet with OpenAI, watched Sora implode, and pulled out faster than a studio exec cancelling a streaming show after one season.”
Meta Ordered to Pay $375M for Endangering Children
1.5“A jury told Meta what everyone already knew: they lied about child safety, and $375 million is the price tag for getting caught.”
45,000 Gaming Jobs Lost Since 2022
1“The gaming industry fired 45,000 people in four years and then wondered why nobody wants to make games anymore.”
OpenAI Partners with US Military, Anthropic Refuses
2“OpenAI went from 'AI safety is our mission' to 'here's unrestricted AI for the Department of Defense' faster than you can say 'pivot to profit.'”