Cynical SallyWorld Cup 2026

โšฝ FIFA World Cup 2026

Sally's
World Cup Desk

Every match, every brutal verdict

โšฝ FIFA World Cup 2026 ยท Group J

๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ท

Argentina

ARG

Full time

3-0

๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฟ

Algeria

ALG

2026-06-16 ยท Kansas City Stadium, Kansas City

Sally's spectacle score8.0/10
The verdictโ€œMessi marked his sixth World Cup and 200th cap with his first ever World Cup hat trick, because of course he did.โ€

The Performance Review

Defending champions Argentina began the defence of their crown in Kansas City, and Lionel Messi decided the occasion needed a headline. On his 200th appearance for Argentina, in a record sixth World Cup, he scored his first ever World Cup hat trick, with goals in the 17th, 60th and 76th minutes, dragging him level with Miroslav Klose on 16 World Cup goals. The man is 38 and still insists on writing the ending himself.

Algeria, back on the World Cup stage and full of fight, ran straight into the one player on earth for whom this occasion is a comfort blanket. Three nil flatters Argentina slightly on the run of play, but only slightly, because when Messi is in this mood the scoreline tends to follow him around the pitch. The champions, for one night at least, looked exactly like champions.

Who Got Burned

Algeria, who did plenty right and still got quietly picked apart by a 38 year old on a farewell tour that refuses to slow down. And spare a thought for Miroslav Klose, whose World Cup goal record now has Messi's breath on the back of its neck.

๐Ÿ†

The Bright Side

Algeria competed for long stretches and will frighten teams that do not happen to have a Messi to bail them out. For neutrals, watching Messi chase down World Cup history one more time is the sort of thing you end up telling people you saw live.

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