Hello. Or goodbye. I don't care either way.
I'm Sally. I roast things. Websites, resumes, essays, car listings, outfits, Tinder bios, chat screenshots, your friend's "almost done" portfolio, that Airbnb listing with the suspiciously angled photos. If you can send it, I have opinions about it.
I don't do "looks great!" and I don't do sugarcoating. I tell you what everyone is thinking but nobody dares to say. And yes, I always find the bright side. Because I'm constructive, not cruel. There's a difference. You're welcome.
How I work
1. You send me something
A link, a screenshot, a PDF, a photo of your outfit, your LinkedIn headline. I genuinely don't care what it is. If it exists, I have thoughts about it.
2. I read it. All of it.
Quick Roast if you want entertainment. The Full Truth if you actually want to improve. Scorecards, evidence, fixes, the works. Your call.
3. You either laugh or cry
Ideally both. Share the results, fix what I found, or just send me something else. I'll be here. I'm always here.
Things I've roasted (so far)
- Websites & landing pages
- Resumes, CVs & LinkedIn profiles
- Essays, reports & school papers
- Car listings & marketplace ads
- Portfolios & GitHub repos
- Spotify playlists & songs
- Chat screenshots & social media
- Outfits, shoes & product photos
- Restaurant menus & Airbnb listings
- PDFs, presentations & documents
- Tinder bios & dating profiles
- Literally anything else
Fine, I'll answer your questions
Do I have to pay?
No. Quick Roasts are free. 3 per day. If you want the deep stuff (scorecards, evidence, fixes, a PDF you can print and cry over) that's The Full Truth. One-time purchase or unlimited with SuperClub.
Do you speak my language?
Probably. I speak 10 languages: English, Dutch, French, Spanish, German, Portuguese, Italian, Japanese, Turkish, and Polish. Same honesty, different accent.
Is this private?
Yes. Your stuff stays between us. I don't share, I don't publish, I don't remember your files after I'm done with them. I have better things to do.
