Cynical Sally reviewed ThomasGeelens.com
Personal Portfolio & Brand
This review was voluntarily published by the site owner. Your roasts stay between you and Sally — never shared, never published. She remembers domains, not you.
Full Truth Score
“"After a decade of chasing algorithms, I'm done. The comparison game, the person before the work. That's not for me anymore." Brother, you LEFT social media six months ago and you're acting like you escaped a cult. Meanwhile, your entire website is a glorified Spotify playlist with album covers.”
The Bright Side
“At least you're not calling yourself a "multi-hyphenate creative" in your bio.”
Issues Found (5)
1. Quitting Social Media Is Not a Value Proposition
Evidence
"In my work is where you find me now." — This is not the profound artist statement you think it is; it's what literally every artist does.
Recommended Fix
Pick your 10 BEST tracks and feature those prominently with context — tell us WHY they matter, what they're about, who they're for. The wall of 64 tracks dilutes your impact.
2. 64 Tracks With Many Labeled as 'Demo' Undermines Credibility
Evidence
"These days I just make things. Music, apps, games, art, whatever feels right." — So you're a jack of all trades with no clear positioning or focus, got it.
Recommended Fix
Add actual proof: streaming numbers, testimonials, press quotes, playlist placements, SOMETHING that shows people connect with your work beyond you releasing it.
3. 'Does Whatever He Likes' Is Not Positioning
Evidence
"All under Lifthill Studio, my creative playground" — A one-man bedroom operation with a studio name is peak 2020s personal branding.
Recommended Fix
Ditch the "I quit social media" narrative as your main identity — it's been six months. Instead, lead with what makes your MUSIC unique, your sound, your themes, your story IN the songs.
4. Six Months Off Social Media Framed as a Spiritual Journey
Evidence
"Since August 2025 I've stepped back from the noise" — it's been SIX MONTHS and you're centering your entire identity around quitting Instagram like it's a spiritual journey.
Recommended Fix
Stop releasing everything as a demo. If it's on Spotify, it's released. Commit to your work or keep it private.
5. Zero Social Proof Anywhere on the Page
Evidence
Zero social proof: no listener counts, no press quotes, no testimonials, no context for why these 64 tracks matter — just blind faith that people will click through to Spotify.
Recommended Fix
Add a clear bio: What genre? What themes? Who are your influences? What's your actual story? "Does whatever he likes" tells me nothing and makes it impossible to connect.
Want the full picture for YOUR site?
Drop your URL and find out what Sally really thinks.
“I showed you mine. Now show me yours.”