Oh yeah?
Steve Lacy · Alternative R&B
“Siz Parijga albom yozishga ucdingiz va shindagi tishingizga qo'l qo'yilgan qator bilan qaytib chiqiz.”
Siz yilning eng yaxshi ovozli albomlaridan birini yaratdingiz va keyin unga so'zlar yozgan bo'lsangiz. Bu butun sharh. O'n trek, o'ttiz to'qqiz minut, o'zingiz ishlagan, va haqiqiy musiqa ajoyib: gitara o'ynash bepul va issiq, ketma-ketlik bir uzluksiz o'ylab oqib boradi, va uyqu foni funk va to'liq jam joli o'rtasida o'tib o'tasiz, kiyim sinashga o'xshash eshitmaysiz. Stereogum buni to'liq bo'lgan asarni va yilning sof zavqlantirilgan albomlaridan birini deb atadi. Ular to'g'ri. Keyin shu xil sharh sizning so'zlaringiz doimiy ravishda xursin deb qo'shishlari kerak edi, va ular bunga ham to'g'ri. Bunda sizning muammolaringiz, Steve. Siz chinakam jiddiy prodyuser va muzika o'qituvchiga o'sib chiqdingiz, lekin yozish hali ham ertalabki ikki soatlardagi guruhlashtirilgan suhbat darajasida ishlaydi. Siz bir trekda SZA bo'lgan, boshqasida Erykah Badu, uchinchisida Cecile Believe bor. Erykah Badu. Siz zamonaviy ruhning buyuk so'z yozuvchileridan birini olib kelgan va xonani katta chaqaloq va qismat bir fahshalikni haqida satrni berdingiz. Bu qo'zg'altish emas. Bu qofiya topgan va uni yo'qotishga chidaya olmagan erkakdir. Qiynalishi kerak bo'lgan qismi shundaki, siz aniq qila olasiz. "Nice shoes" da siz yozasiz: hayot lekin ko'lka emas, tatuirovka emas, yosh yoshni quvish ahmoqona, va to'satdan qo'shiqda butun odam bor. Bu haqiqiy fikr, aniq etib berilgan, va albomi boshqa hamma narsadan qattiq tushadi. Siz yoza olmaysiz. Siz shunchaki tahrirlamaysiz. Sizning jarayoningizning biror joyida, siz birinchi aytgan narsangiz khohishli deb qochdi, va bu daqiqa sizdan klassikani olib ketadi.
Bu juda yaxshi albom va men buni shunchaki bayon qilmoqchiman, chunki so'z muammosi oson tushish va erishilishi qiynalishi. Ishlab chiqarish oqishli, gitara toni siz uchun haqiqatan, va o'ttiz to'qqiz minut davomida o'n trek o'rtasida siz har xil osongina yangli narsani yaratdingiz: to'ldirmasiz va o'ptirilmaydigan yozuv, sizni tamomlagach tugatilgan. Rolling Stone sizni Gen Z-ning aniqlovchi pop muallifaridan birining chaqiruvi hype emas, bu faqat lentaning shulamiga o'xshaydi. Clash dedi bu haqiqiy klassikka yaqin ishi. Bu va klassikka o'rtasidagi bo'shliq istiqbol, byudjet yoki ambitsiya emas. Bu daqiqadir qalam va narsalarni o'chirib yuborish istaligi.
The shock line is doing the work of an actual idea
“From doom: "I'm a big baby suckin' on big titties / Karma's a bitch, and I bet she's pretty". Stereogum's Chris DeVille flagged it directly, writing that he had not winced this much listening to an otherwise-excellent album since Kanye was at his peak.”
The fix Every time you reach for a shock image, write the boring version of the line underneath it and compare. If the boring version says more about you, keep the boring version. Shock is a texture, not a thesis.
Filler phrasing inside your most emotional moments
“"I don't wanna cheat no more, be no whore / I would rather be the one that you tell your mom about and stuff". You built to a confession and then closed it with "and stuff", which detonates the sincerity of the entire couplet.”
The fix Ban filler tails from vulnerable lines. If a line needs a cushion at the end, you have not committed to the feeling yet. Sing it plain and let it be uncomfortable.
Elite features, undercooked writing to hand them
“SZA on is it cool?, Erykah Badu on pure colour, Cecile Believe on lovesexdrugbomb. Three of the most distinctive voices available to you, on a record whose near-unanimous critical complaint is the quality of the words.”
The fix Write the feature verses last, after you have found what the album is about. Guests should be arriving into a finished thought, not decorating an unfinished one.
You already know what your best writing sounds like
“From nice shoes: "Life is but a stain, it's not a tattoo / It's lame to chase youth." It is the most quoted lyric on the record and the plainest, with no shock image anywhere near it.”
The fix Take that couplet, pin it above the desk, and use it as the bar. Any line that would embarrass you next to it does not make the album.
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