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Job Posting · How to / How not to

How to Write a Job Posting (and How Not To)

Most job ads are a wishlist written by someone who has never done the job they are hiring for.

By Cynical SallyIssue Nº 1

A job posting is the first thing a candidate reads about your company, and most of them read like a hostage note assembled from three other companies' worst clichés. You want a unicorn. You offer a foosball table. You wonder why nobody good applies.

This is what you getA real Full Truth, in full
Cynical SallyJob Posting

The Full Truth

on A seed-stage startup's 'rockstar developer' job ad

3.8
out of ten
You want a 'rockstar ninja' who 'thrives in chaos' for 'equity and exposure'. The only thing getting exposed here is that you cannot afford a salary.
The Investigation
  1. 01

    No salary, all 'equity and exposure'

    Critical

    You offer 'meaningful equity' with no percentage and 'industry exposure' instead of money. Candidates with options will read that as 'we cannot pay you', and they will be right. Name a cash range or watch only the trapped apply.

  2. 02

    'Rockstar ninja' is a confession, not a requirement

    Notable

    These words tell engineers you measure brilliance by hours burned, not problems solved. Replace the costume with the actual job: what will they ship in their first 90 days, and on what stack.

  3. 03

    The everything-list of 18 'must-haves'

    Critical

    You demand full-stack, DevOps, mobile, ML, and 'design sense' from one hire at one salary you did not list. That is four jobs. Pick the one you are actually hiring for and cut the rest to 'nice to have'.

The Copy Clinic

We're looking for a rockstar ninja developer who thrives in a fast-paced environment, wears many hats, and is passionate about disrupting the industry. Competitive salary + equity + exposure!

We need a backend engineer to own our payments service (Node, Postgres, Stripe) as we scale from 200 to 5,000 paying users. You'll work directly with our two founders. 65k-80k plus 0.4-0.8% equity, fully remote in EU timezones.

Requirements: 5+ years React, 5+ years Node, DevOps, Kubernetes, ML experience a plus, design eye, self-starter, team player, passionate, hard worker, fast learner.

You'll thrive here if you've shipped production Node services and are comfortable owning a feature end to end. Bonus, not required: Kubernetes or Stripe experience. We'll teach you the rest.

The Action Plan
  1. 1Delete every word a normal person wouldn't say out loud: 'rockstar', 'ninja', 'family', 'wear many hats'. The page gets shorter and more honest instantly.
  2. 2Add one real cash range and the equity percentage. If you cannot, fix your budget before you fix your ad, because the ad is not the problem.
  3. 3Cut the requirements to the 5 things the person genuinely cannot do the job without. Move everything else to a clearly labelled 'nice to have'.
  4. 4Open with three sentences on the actual work and who they report to. Have one engineer you respect read it and ask, 'Would you apply?' If they hesitate, rewrite.
Yours for the price of a coffee.Printed with disdain
Your turn

That was a stranger's job posting. Drop yours, I will go just as hard.

One coffee, from €2,99. No mercy.

The truth is simpler than your culture deck. A good posting tells a specific person what they will actually do, who they will do it with, and what they get paid for it. Everything else is decoration on an empty box. Let's open the box.

How to do it right
  • 01State the salary range. A real one, not '40k-90k DOE', which means 'we will pay you the lowest number we can get away with'.
  • 02Describe the actual work in the first three lines: the problems they will solve, the systems they will touch, the meetings they will sit in.
  • 03List 4 to 6 genuine requirements. If it is teachable on the job, it is not a requirement, it is a preference, so label it one.
  • 04Name the team, the stack, and the person they report to. Specificity is the cheapest credibility you will ever buy.
  • 05Write like one human talking to another. Read it aloud. If you would not say it in an interview, delete it.
How not to
  • Demanding '5+ years of experience' in a framework that has existed for three. Someone will screenshot this.
  • The phrase 'we are a family'. Families do not fire you in a 15-minute Zoom call when runway gets tight.
  • A 14-item 'requirements' list where item 9 is 'must be passionate' and item 11 is 'occasionally lift 20kg' for a remote desk job.
  • 'Competitive salary' with no number, then acting surprised when only the desperate and the delusional apply.
  • Listing 'wear many hats' as a perk. That is not a perk. That is three unfilled roles wearing a trenchcoat.
How to Write a Job Posting (and How Not To) - Cynical Sally