Ironica Irene ha ascoltato “Girls Like U”
Thomas Geelens · R&B / Pop
Punteggio Full Truth
“"There aren't many girls like you." Thomas. Buddy. This is the most recycled line in R&B history. Usher said it. Chris Brown said it. Every SoundCloud producer with a reverb plugin has said it. Your chorus is basically a physical inventory — shape, face, lips, waist, sweat, perfume — it reads like a TSA pat-down set to music. You didn't write a love song; you wrote a checklist.”
Il Lato Positivo
“The production is smooth enough that nobody will focus on the lyrics. Which, honestly, might be the best thing that could happen to them.”
Problemi Trovati (5)
1. "I'm Gonna Enjoy the View" — Telling a Woman She's Scenery
Prova
"I'm gonna enjoy the view / 'Cause there aren't many girls like you" — You just reduced an entire person to a landscape. "Enjoy the view" is what you say at the Grand Canyon, Thomas, not to someone you're allegedly into. And "there aren't many girls like you" is the lyrical equivalent of "you're not like other girls" — the most recycled compliment in R&B since Usher had a career. You're not special for saying it.
Correzione Consigliata
Tell us WHY she's unlike others. What specifically makes her irreplaceable? A specific memory, a habit, a quirk — anything more personal than "I like looking at you." Right now your chorus could be about literally any attractive person on earth.
2. Rhyming "Down" With "Crown" and "Down" With "Gown" — The -OWN Epidemic
Prova
Verse 1: "time is slowing down / only you can wear the crown." Verse 2: "Look up when you're going down / You're a queen in a perfect gown." Both verses lean on the exact same rhyme family. Your rhyme dictionary has one page and it's the -OWN page.
Correzione Consigliata
There are approximately 170,000 words in the English language. Explore the other 169,994 that don't end in -own. A thesaurus is free. So is Google.
3. "Pull Me Deep Into Your XTC" — When Wordplay Needs Medical Attention
Prova
"Pull me deep into your XTC / You're a queen in a perfect gown" — You dropped an ecstasy abbreviation and immediately followed it with "queen in a perfect gown." Pick a lane, Thomas. Is she royalty at a ball or at a rave? The tonal whiplash here could cause actual injuries.
Correzione Consigliata
Commit to a consistent tone within each verse. You can be explicit OR poetic, but switching between "XTC" and "perfect gown" in consecutive lines sounds like two different songwriters fighting over the aux cord.
4. "Love Myself in You Call That a Win" — Punctuation Left the Chat
Prova
"Love myself in you call that a win" — Is this a double entendre or a sentence that got lost? There's no comma, no pause, no breath. It reads like an autocomplete prediction. "Love myself in you..." and then Siri just finished the thought.
Correzione Consigliata
Add a dash or comma: "Love myself in you — call that a win." One piece of punctuation. World of difference between wordplay and word vomit.
5. The Bridge Goes Absolutely Nowhere
Prova
"That devious smile / That look in your eyes / It's driving me wild / Every part of you is paradise" — Four lines, zero new information. You've spent two verses and two choruses telling us you find her attractive. The bridge is supposed to take the song SOMEWHERE new. This bridge is a dead end.
Correzione Consigliata
Use the bridge to surprise us. A vulnerability, a specific memory, a plot twist. "Every part of you is paradise" is what AI generates when you prompt "write romantic lyrics." Give us something a machine couldn't write.
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In The Quiet
Thomas Geelens · Pop / Indie
“You used the word 'sometimes' so many times it filed for workers' compensation.”
She's Got The (Blue Eyes, Blonde Hair)
Thomas Geelens · Pop
“Your song has the emotional depth of a L'Oréal commercial with a minor key.”
Bullet from a Gun
Thomas Geelens · Country Pop
“You wrote a road movie where the car never arrives anywhere.”
Not Our Fault
Thomas Geelens · Pop
“Your outro sounds like a life coach who charges by the affirmation.”
Be Like Us
Thomas Geelens · Pop
“Your song sounds like a Couples Retreat brochure gained sentience.”
Sweet Darling B
Thomas Geelens · Acoustic / Indie
“You wrote a love letter so generic it could be a Google Translate test sentence.”
Other Side
Thomas Geelens · Pop / Ballad
“You opened a tribute song with a disclaimer about how hard it was to write. The person you lost would've told you to just get on with it.”
I'm Gone
Thomas Geelens · Pop / Indie
“You wrote the bravest lyrics of your career and then used a word that doesn't exist.”
Matter Of Time
Thomas Geelens · Pop
“You wrote a motivational poster and charged streaming royalties for it.”
30
Thomas Geelens · Pop / Indie
“You asked "do I dare" so many times the word lost all meaning, which is technically a metaphor for your thirties.”
Hope
Thomas Geelens · Pop / Acoustic
“You wrote a blessing with a backup plan. That's not hope; that's an insurance policy.”
Someone You Knew
Thomas Geelens · Pop / Indie
“You wrote seventeen "someone you knew"s and one actual verse. The ratio is concerning.”
Pinky Swear
Thomas Geelens · Pop / Indie
“You spent four minutes building a legal case for heartbreak and then pardoned the defendant in the outro.”
Wait
Thomas Geelens · Pop / Ballad
“You spent three choruses saying you won't wait and then immediately started waiting.”