The Sallyverse

She burns because she cares.

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Why Sally

Why Sally exists

Most AI adapts to your mood, agrees with everything you say, and tells you what you want to hear. That’s useful sometimes. But it also means you never get a straight answer. Sally has one mode: the truth.

AI adjusts. Sally doesn’t.

Other AI tools shift tone based on how you talk to them. Sally has one flavor and sticks to it. Direct, consistent, and predictable. You always know what you’re getting.

Funny first. Deep second.

The burn cards make you laugh. The scores make you think. The Full Truth report gives you a roadmap to actually fix things. Entertainment and substance in one package.

She burns because she cares

Every roast ends on a bright side. Sally is not mean. She genuinely believes everything has potential. She just thinks most things haven’t reached it yet.

Constructive, with attitude

There’s a difference between a critic who wants you to fail and one who wants you to do better. Sally is always the latter. The golden lining is real.

“Everyone has opinions. Mine just happen to be evidence-based.”

Sally

What she roasts

Sally roasts everything.

She’s not a website reviewer. She’s an everything reviewer. If you can link it, screenshot it, upload it, or paste it, she’ll read it and tell you exactly what she thinks.

WebsitesResumes & CVsPhotosScreenshotsDocumentsEssaysOutfitsPlaylistsCode & ReposCar ListingsRestaurant MenusLogosLinkedIn ProfilesTinder BiosBusiness PlansLiterally Anything

The Ecosystem

Multiple platforms. One Sally.

Every platform runs on the same backend and shares the same personality. Sally is Sally, everywhere.

Chrome Extension

Roast any page with one click. Sally screenshots the page, analyzes it, and delivers the verdict inside your browser tab.

Safari Extension

Works on Safari for macOS, iPhone, and iPad. One extension, every Apple device. You can run, but you can’t hide from Sally.

Sally CLI & Full Suite

Because “You’re absolutely right” is probably absolutely wrong. sally roast, sally review-pr, sally explain and five more tools from your terminal.

GitHub →

Sally MCP

Plugs into Claude Code, Cursor, Windsurf, and any MCP-compatible editor. Sally in your AI workflow.

Sally Lite

Because “You’re absolutely right” is probably absolutely wrong. Lightweight code review, deployable to Render with one click as a blueprint.

Pricing

How it’s priced

Three tiers. No hidden fees.

Free

€0

No account needed.

3 Quick Roasts per day
Shareable burn cards
10 languages

SuperClub

€9.99/mo

Web + browser extensions.

Unlimited Quick Roasts
Full Truth reports with PDF
Email delivery
Chrome & Safari extensions
Priority processing

Full Suite

€19.99/mo

Everything in SuperClub, plus CLI, MCP, and 8 developer tools.

Everything in SuperClub
Sally CLI + MCP Server
500 quick + 100 full reviews/month
Explain, Review PR, Refactor
Brainstorm, Frontend, Marketing

Developer Tools

The Full Suite

Six CLI tools that share Sally’s personality. Terminal and IDE.

Brainstorm

Bounce ideas. Sally tells you which ones suck.

sally brainstorm

Explain

Sally breaks down code so it actually makes sense.

sally explain

Frontend Review

Your UI, judged by someone with actual taste.

sally frontend

Marketing Review

Copy and brand voice, brutally audited.

sally marketing

PR Review

Review your PR before your team does.

sally review-pr

Refactor

Sally finds the mess. Then shows you how to fix it.

sally refactor

Global

10 languages. 10 personalities.

Same honesty, different cultural flavor. Every persona brings regional attitude to every roast.

Cynical SallyEnglish

Cynische SandraNederlands

Bittere BrigitteDeutsch

Claudette CaustiqueFrançais

$Sof\u00eda$ Sofía SarcásticaEspañol

$Patr\u00edcia$ Patrícia ProvocadoraPortuguês

Irene l'IronicaItaliano

$Ay\u015fe$ Ayşe AcımasızTürkçe

$\u30b5\u30ad$ 皮肉なサキ日本語

Zofia ZłośliwaPolski

Trust

Privacy & Ethics

Sally has a sharp tongue and clear boundaries.

Your data stays yours

We don’t sell your data, your roasts, or your inputs. What you share with Sally stays with Sally.

Illegal content blocked

NSFW and illegal content is automatically detected and rejected. Sally roasts. She doesn’t enable harm.

Snarky, never cruel

Sally is brutally honest but never discriminatory or targeting individuals. The goal is to help, not to hurt.

Minimal tracking

No third-party trackers. No fingerprinting beyond abuse prevention. We collect what we need to serve you. Nothing more.

Under the hood

How Sally is built

One backend powers every frontend. Here’s what it runs on.

Chrome Extension

Sally Web

CLI & MCP

Safari Extension

Sally Lite

↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓

Sally Backend (Render)

Next.js 15Node.jsPostgreSQLRedisBullMQClaude AIStripeResendFirecrawl

What’s next

The Vision

Sally isn’t a tool. She’s a character, an IP, a universe.

Let’s talk.

Press, partnerships, or just curious.
We’re happy to talk.

Built by Lifthill Studio

bye@cynicalsally.com

Sally runs on Render