Be Like Us
Thomas Geelens · Pop
Reviewed 2026-02-24
The Roast
“"Pick a movie, I'll pick you up, we'll go eat sushi." Thomas wrote the most aggressively mid couple's Instagram caption of all time and set it to a beat. Sushi, jacuzzi, Mercedes, boogie, groovy — this song sounds like it was written by someone who Googled "fun couple activities" and rhymed the results. The chorus claims "they wanna be like us" and I'm genuinely curious: who is "they"? Because nobody is listening to this and thinking "I want to play tag in a jacuzzi with a man who rhymes 'movie' with 'sushi.'"”
Sally's not done with you yet.
Drop a URL, screenshot, or file and Sally will give you the honest truth.
The Bright Side
It's unapologetically fun. Not every song needs to be deep, and the energy is infectious. If this plays at a pool party, nobody's mad about it. They're just not writing it down as poetry either.
Hardest Sneer
“Your song sounds like a Couples Retreat brochure gained sentience.”
Think your work can survive this?
Drop a URL, screenshot, or file and Sally will give you the honest truth.
Issues (5)
"Like Sweet Apple Pie, They Want a Piece of Us" — The Simile That Tried
Receipt
"We both look so fly / like sweet apple pie" — In what universe does looking fly resemble an apple pie? Apple pies don't fly. They don't even walk. They sit on windowsills in cartoons. And then "they want a piece of us" only works as a pun if you accept the pie comparison, which you shouldn't, because it makes no sense.
Fix
If you want a food metaphor (and I'd argue you don't), make it one where the comparison actually tracks. Or drop the simile entirely. "We both look so fly / can't deny" is basic but at least it's honest about what it is.
Sushi → Boogie → Jacuzzi → Groovy → Movie: The -OOE Rhyme Crime
Receipt
Verse 1: movie → sushi → boogie. Verse 2: goofy → jacuzzi → groovy. You found one vowel sound and rode it like a mechanical bull. These aren't even good rhymes — 'sushi' and 'movie' don't rhyme, they just sort of... vaguely agree. It's like watching someone parallel park by just getting close enough.
Fix
Branch out from the -oo sound or lean into it so hard it becomes the joke. Right now it's in the uncanny valley between intentional wordplay and lazy rhyming.
"Playing Tag in the Jacuzzi" — That Sounds Dangerous
Receipt
"We are goofy / playing tag in the jacuzzi" — Have you ever tried to play tag in a jacuzzi, Thomas? It's a 2-by-2 meter box of hot water. Tag requires running. You cannot run in a jacuzzi. This is not a fun couple activity; this is a recipe for a concussion and an insurance claim.
Fix
Use activities that are actually fun AND make logistical sense. The point is to show a couple being playfully themselves. "Stealing fries from each other's plate" is small, specific, and nobody drowns.
"We're Living Like We're in the 80s" — What Does That Mean?
Receipt
"When we drive around in our Mercedes / we're out all night or at home lazy / we're living like we're in the 80s" — The 80s were defined by cocaine, Wall Street excess, Cold War anxiety, and synth pop. Which part are you claiming? Because "driving a Mercedes and being lazy" is just being rich in any decade. This isn't a cultural reference; it's a vibe that doesn't vibe.
Fix
If you reference a decade, make it specific. "Dancing to Prince at 2 AM" is the 80s. "Driving a Mercedes" is just a flex with a time stamp.
The Song Has No Bridge to Anywhere
Receipt
Your "bridge" is four lines about Mercedes and the 80s, and then you go straight back into the chorus. There's no emotional shift, no new perspective, no vulnerability. The song starts fun and shallow and ends fun and shallow. It's a kiddie pool. Consistent depth, but that depth is 15 centimeters.
Fix
Use the bridge to show the real reason you value this person. One genuine moment of "actually, behind all the fun, here's why this matters" would transform the song from a jingle into something with a heartbeat.