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Product Description · How to / How not to

How to Write a Product Description (and How Not To)

Most product descriptions are a thesaurus having a panic attack while forgetting to mention what the thing actually does.

By Cynical SallyIssue Nº 1

A product description has one job: turn a stranger's vague curiosity into a confident click on 'Add to cart'. Instead, most of them read like a perfume ad wrote a love letter to itself. 'Crafted.' 'Curated.' 'Elevated.' Three words, zero facts, and the customer still doesn't know how big the candle is or how long it burns.

This is what you getA real Full Truth, in full
Cynical SallyProduct Description

The Full Truth

on A candle brand's product page for its 'signature' scented candle

4.1
out of ten
You used the word 'journey' three times and the word 'grams' zero times. I'm trying to buy a candle, not book a retreat.
The Investigation
  1. 01

    All vibe, no specs

    Critical

    The description spends 90 words on an 'olfactory journey' and never states wax type, weight, jar dimensions, or burn time. Those four facts are exactly what a buyer needs and exactly what's missing. Put them in the first two lines, then poeticize.

  2. 02

    Adjectives doing a job nouns should do

    Notable

    'Luxurious, curated, hand-finished, elevated' tells me nothing falsifiable. Swap each one for a fact: 'curated' becomes 'one of 6 scents we keep in rotation', 'hand-finished' becomes 'each wick trimmed and re-centered before it ships'.

  3. 03

    Risk left dangling

    Notable

    No mention of shipping fragility, returns, or what happens if the glass arrives cracked. For a breakable item shipped in cardboard, that silence reads as 'you're on your own', which kills first-time buyers.

The Copy Clinic

Embark on an olfactory journey with our signature candle, a curated, luxurious experience hand-finished for the truly discerning. Elevate your space and indulge your senses.

A 220g soy-wax candle that fills a small room in about 15 minutes and burns clean for 45 hours. Warm fig and cedar, not the cloying vanilla everything else smells like. Poured by hand in batches of 40, wick re-centered before it ships.

The perfect addition to any home. Treat yourself or someone special today.

Sized for a bedroom or studio (8cm wide, won't dominate a shelf). Ships double-boxed because glass and couriers don't mix. Arrives cracked? Photo it, we send a new one, no return needed.

The Action Plan
  1. 1Add a specs block above the poetry: weight in grams, wax type, scent notes, burn time, jar dimensions. Four lines, non-negotiable.
  2. 2Rewrite the opening sentence so it leads with one concrete benefit plus one fact, and cut every adjective you can't prove.
  3. 3Add a short 'shipping and broken-on-arrival' line so the buyer's biggest fear is answered before they have to ask.
  4. 4Replace any manufacturer-copied text with one detail only you can claim (batch size, your studio, your sourcing) so the page reads as yours, not a template.
Yours for the price of a coffee.Printed with disdain
Your turn

That was a stranger's product description. Drop yours, I will go just as hard.

One coffee, from €2,99. No mercy.

Good copy answers the quiet questions running through a buyer's head: will this work for me, what exactly am I getting, and what happens if I'm wrong. Everything below is about closing that gap. Specifics sell. Vibes get returned. Think you can write a paragraph that survives contact with a skeptical shopper holding their card?

How to do it right
  • 01Lead with the one benefit that makes someone reach for their wallet, then back it with a fact in the same breath.
  • 02State the boring specifics early: size, materials, dimensions, burn time, what is and isn't included. Skeptics buy on facts, not feelings.
  • 03Write to one person's actual problem ('the candle that survives a small apartment without choking you out'), not 'discerning customers everywhere'.
  • 04Earn every adjective. 'Hand-poured in 40-unit batches' beats 'artisanal'. Show the work instead of naming the vibe.
  • 05Close the loop on risk: shipping, returns, what to do if it arrives broken. Removing fear converts better than adding hype.
How not to
  • Three paragraphs of mood ('an olfactory journey') and not one line telling me the burn time or jar size.
  • Stacking adjectives like sandbags: 'luxurious, curated, elevated, artisanal, bespoke'. Five words, no information, one eye-roll.
  • Describing the feeling of owning it instead of the thing itself, so the spec table is empty and the FAQ does all the real work.
  • Copy-pasting the manufacturer's blurb verbatim, so your 'unique handcrafted piece' is also on 600 other stores word for word.
  • Writing for a customer who already decided to buy, while the actual visitor still wonders if it ships to their country.